saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
