You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Randomize
