What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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