I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You've changed since you got that strap on
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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