Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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