It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i out mim tonsoeep
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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