Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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