Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
