Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize