I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
