p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
