idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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