I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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