even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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