I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
