Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
