the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
