I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
