He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
