They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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