We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Alive.
So much puke
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
