I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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