she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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