I want to have your abortion
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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