I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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