just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
try to milk me bitch
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