I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize