saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
