Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
