Sry I called you an 8
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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