Banned from zoo.
Again?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
