if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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