WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
