I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
