Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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