Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
