idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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