I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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