What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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