I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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