That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
