I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
