My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
