my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
