Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
