i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
