Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
