yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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