her vagine was all disorganized.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
