Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
